non-asexuals are also so convinced that they understand asexuality that they do very little research on it before asserting their own opinions on it. they believe that they understand it from the get-go–even though it takes the majority of us a long time to come to terms with being asexual, especially (but not only, or the furthest extent) grey-asexual and demisexual people.
we do a lot of research. we talk to people, if at all possible. we think about our past experiences and try to remove them from societal expectations. of course, these are not unique to asexual identities, but it is the process that we must go through. it takes a lot of work and effort, in other words.
so why, then, do non-asexuals feel entitled to saying that ‘asexual’ is synonymous with sex repulsed? or that sex repulsed people who do not call themselves asexual or consider themselves asexual can speak freely and with authority on asexuality and the asexual community in general? or that asexuals cannot experience hypersexuality, can never become asexual through trauma, and are all sex repulsed and reject sex?
asexuality is a lot more complex than “does not have sex,” or “does not want sex.” so when i see non-asexuals for some reason asserting that asexuality is either the lack of a sexuality or straight/somehow aligned with straight society by default, i want to know why. i want to know why they can say these sort of things when they are centering their own worldview and nothing but their own worldview.
i certainly want to know why they think their opinion matters more than that of asexuals. i want to know why, conveniently, the only asexual friends they make/people they reblog from are ones who agree with their every opinion, have separated themselves from asexual communities or even asexual labels, or simply weren’t asexual in the first place, but only called themselves “asexual by tumblr’s standards” in order to speak over asexual people.
i also want to know why when i type things out about asexuality, i have to state again and again that i am not straight, that i am transgender sga/mga in addition to being asexual. i have to do that in order to be seen as someone who can speak on the topic of asexuality–as if being sga/mga/non-cis (honestly, probably all of the above) is a prerequisite to speaking reasonably on asexuality.
which is, in itself, likely an attempt by non-asexuals to silence as much of the asexual community as possible, not one to be ‘inclusive’ of sga/mga/non-cis asexuals, because they still really only care about sga/mga/non-cis asexuals so long as they stay perfectly in line with them.
(via bi-boomer)
